“	Scripting is yucky.”

You have indicated that you do not want simplicity and power, but instead prefer underpowered complexity. You probably don't like to use scripting as part of your complete information technology solutions. That's OK. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Unfortunately, nobody here at Nombas shares that opinion, and so we were unable to prepare a page to help you find more complexity and less power. Sorry that we could not help you directly.

“	Web page? never heard of it.”

But we were able to find a crotchety old man who shares your opinion in doing things "the old fashioned way", and so in the interest of fairness-to-all-opinions we asked him to prepare a web page. "A web page? what's that?" he said, "one of them newfangled 3270 emulators?" We soon realized that we would not be getting a web page out of him, and so instead we opted to interview the crotchety old man. The rest of this page is a transcript of that interview.

Why are you so crotchety, old man?

Because I've just learned about scripting languages. Ptooey! You young programmers today are making an awful mess with these dagnammit scripting tools. In my day we never had scripting tools, and we liked it that way.

What's the problem with scripting tools?

“	Problem #1: Simplicity.”

I see two problems with scripting. First is the simplicity. Computer programming was never meant to be simple. Programming is difficult and it should stay difficult. In my day we wrote code in a good old-fashioned system language, and we typed until our fingers were raw, and we compiled until our hair turned gray, and we debugged, and we wrote more code and classes and links and code and classes and links until the whole project coalesced into a huge ball of tangled string and chewing gum the size of Mount Rushmore--and we liked it that way.

You said there were two problems with scripting. What's the other problem?

“	Problem #2: Power.”

Power. Compiled applications were never meant to have that much power. With these newfangled script languages, like your.. your... what do you call it?

ScriptEase, JavaScript-compatible and EcmaScript-compliant.

Like you said, that ScripJavEcma...whatchamacallit. Ptooey! ... What were we talking about?

You were complaining about the power that script languages make available to programs and their users.

“	Rewrite, compile, debug, rewrite... and we liked it that way.”

Right. In my day, we didn't need all that sissy power in our applications. The user was lucky if the thing even ran. If a change was needed, or if the specification changed before we were finished (and believe you me, the specification always changed before we were finished, heh heh heh) then we changed the source code and rebuilt the whole thing. New customer with slightly different needs? Rewrite the source and build, debug, and deliver a whole new ball of wax (that's what we used to call a completed application). By the time we were done with a third rewrite we were so tired that we would fall asleep at the computer, with our noses bouncing along the keyboard writing code in our sleep, until our noses were bloody and our code was completed. And we liked it that way.

Why did you like it that way?

Job security. You never lost a job because you never finished a job. If we ever did meet the program requirements the requirements would have changed, and so we would dig in to meet the new requirements, and so on. I had one job go on for ten years until one day some new young guy came in and asked what program we were writing. Nobody could remember. That young man was a trouble-maker, he was.

A trouble-maker? What kind of trouble?

“	Scripting solved the problems. Ptooey!”

The young whippersnapper added scripting to our modules and linked them all together in a flexible way according to the most-recent specification, and showed that as the specification changed the modules could be adjusted through the script language. Before we knew what hit us that program was finished. Now I'm out on the street and I don't know what to do.

I see. So you're crotchety because scripting helped complete the project on time and to the specification, and so now you have lost your job?

No, I've still got the job. I'm crotchety because this is the first time in five years that I haven't been at my desk programming morning and night. Like I told you, I'm out on the street. This is the first time in five years that I've had time to leave my cubicle and go home.

So why does that make you crotchety?

Because I don't remember where I live.

Yours is a sad sad tale. Do you have final any advice for IT professionals?

Just say no to simplicity and power. Say no to

Nombas, Inc.